relationship counselling
Modern life puts phenomenal strains on our relationships. As part of coping with daily life, we all fall into routine patterns with our partner over time. When these patterns become rigid and unhelpful (or before that’s the case), it’s time to ask for help.
Modern life can strains our relationships.
Modern life puts phenomenal strains on our relationships. As part of coping with daily life, we all fall into routine patterns with our partner over time. These natural rhythms of action and reaction can often help us to communicate and manage daily life more effectively. However, in some circumstances, couples become locked into unhelpful patterns. Some partners find themselves frequently bickering, rehashing the same old arguments over and over again, looking outside the relationship for emotional support or sexual connection, or giving each other the ‘silent treatment’ in ways that lead to hurt for ourselves and our loved ones.
Underneath all of these patterns, we find predictable cycles of approach and avoidance that leave partners feeling stuck and lonely within their most important relationship. These cycles are typically influenced by earlier learning experiences with family or past partners and often develop as a way of trying to avoid being hurt by someone we love. Couples or marriage counselling can help you develop or return to healthier patterns, rekindling trust and connection between you and your partner, and clarifying your needs moving forward. Whether you prefer a psychologist or social worker, our team members are here to help you take your next steps towards building a better future. Contact us to schedule an appointment today.
Couples or marriage counselling can help you develop or return to healthier patterns, rekindling trust and connection between you and your partner.
Relationship Counselling at Transforming Emotions
More than understanding the science of psychotherapy, we know that good therapy is built on trust and safety. Period. We respect that you and your partner are the experts in your own experiences and we know that for many coming in for couples therapy, trust and safety are part of what is missing. We will listen with compassion and empathy, using our understanding of human change to help you to manage, make sense of, and then make desired changes in how you feel and react, both on your own and in your partnership. We will also set clear guidelines for ways of communicating in session to minimize further hurt between you. Together, we will work to help you and your partner get to the bottom of what you are really feeling, to express yourselves more openly, and to respond to each other from a place of respect and curiosity rather than attack or avoidance.
Being able to process your feelings productively with your partner requires a few different skills. These include:
- knowing what you are really feeling underneath the behaviours that result in hurt between you,
- learning to express your vulnerable feelings honestly in a manageable way rather than indirectly or not at all,
- feeling and expressing your feelings without being overwhelmed by them and without lashing out in anger towards your partner,
- learning to understand what your emotions are telling you about what you really need to feel loved, respected, and connected.
What should I expect when attending couples or marriage counselling?
High-quality couples counselling will help you and your partner learn to lean in towards one another rather than leaning out, helping you face life’s challenges and celebrations together. In the first few sessions, we will talk in-depth about your current challenges, about how you met, the experiences that have led up to this point in your lives, each of your family and relationship histories, and when each of you feels most loved.
We will work with you to develop a preliminary shared understanding of your current experience as individuals and as a couple, and we will share our plan to help you to move forward. By the fourth or fifth session, we will typically begin to actively address and transform the concerns that have brought you into therapy.
In our experience, duration of therapy varies widely depending upon what events or concerns are bringing you in to see a therapist, and based on your desired outcomes. Therapy duration can vary from 6-10 sessions to a year or more when infidelity or broken trust has been central in a couple’s challenges.
How do I get started?
1. Get In Touch
From our Contact Page, book a free phone consultation to help us find the right therapist for you.
2. Tell us About Yourself
A team member will speak with you for 15-20 minute about your concerns. Feeling shy? No problem, if you prefer, you may fill out the form on our contact page, and we’ll send you a brief questionnaire to help us learn more about you and your needs – your choice.
3. Book Sessions
Based on your unique story, we will pair you with the therapist who we think is the best match for what you need. Have someone in mind who you would like to work with? No problem. Let us know and we will take that into account.