Anxiety is exhausting, and it can manifest in many different ways. You might have racing thoughts, chronic worries, fears that others are judging you, or feel a high need for control in your life or your environment. You might notice that you often have shallow breathing, muscle tension, or difficulties sleeping.
Anxiety can be thought of as a physical and psychological response to stress. At Transforming Emotions, we view anxiety as a sign that your nervous system is stuck in a prolonged or repetitive fear response – kind of like your car’s check engine light being on long after the car’s problem has been fixed. Your engine is fine, but your warning signal isn’t.
While anxiety is considered to have a genetic contribution (under stress, some folks develop anxiety, some depression or substance use difficulties and so on), it’s also heavily influenced by life experience. We can learn anxious response patterns from care-givers (if my parent thinks the world is scary and something bad is always about to happen…I better be careful too!) or we can develop anxiety as way of trying to keep ourselves safe after something bad happens to us – either physically or emotionally. It’s like some part of ourselves decides to stay on high alert for any future danger so we can avoid being hurt again. Sometimes, this protective part can get a bit over-zealous and the result is an anxiety disorder (which tends not to feel protective to the person who is living it!) It’s also not a very efficient or effective strategy.
What helps us recover from anxiety? Here are my top five recommendations:
1. Breathe… more slowly and deeply.
Your breathing patterns are impacted by what is going on in your nervous system, but it works both ways. Slowing and deepening your breathing tells your body that it is okay to stand down and relax₁. If you want to slow your breathing, try box breathing. Start by sitting in a comfortable and safe location. Then,
- Slowly count to four as you breathe in.
- Slowly count to four as you hold your breath.
- Slowly count to four as you exhale.
Repeat this cycle for 5 minutes. As your capacity builds, gradually increase your count to further slow your breathing.
2. Relax … your muscles.
If you are chronically anxious, your brain may be constantly preparing your body for fight or flight. This can lead to chronic muscle tension as your muscles wait for the battle or sprint that never comes. If you want to reduce anxiety, learn to relax your body. There are many great examples of progressive muscle relaxation exercises online – take a look to find your favourite! Yoga or gentle stretching may also help.
3. Exercise
Did you know that just 180 minutes₂ of moderate exercise every week has been associated with reduced depression and anxiety symptoms, and with lower rates of relapse after symptoms have been treated? This can be as easy as building up to a 30-minute walk six days a week.
4. Learn to feel something new while you are feeling anxiety.
Anxiety can be viewed as an old fear response – part of a past memory that gets chronically reactivated. Our ultimate goal is to update your nervous system response – helping your body feel safe when you are safe in the present, even though you were scared in the past.
We can learn to feel something new when we are feeling anxious in a number of ways.
Change your behaviour to face your fears.
This principle is foundational in many psychological approaches to treating anxiety. One way to do this is to ‘act opposite’₃ when feeling anxious – do the thing your anxiety is telling you not to (in the absence of an obvious threat to your physical safety). Say hello to that person in the coffee line. Call that old friend who might be mad at you. Shifting from avoidance to action will create new experiences and new emotional reactions.
Harness your imagination.
When we are anxious, our imaginations often run wild. Instead of repeatedly imagining worst-case scenarios, harness the power of your mind to actively imagine yourself in a calm, confident, and competent state. Try imagining loved ones responding to you in kindness (rather than judgement), or imagine your favourite place in the world – where your body feels calm and relaxed. Rehearse these calm images to help your body calm and soothe itself in real time. Scary images and fantasies are…scary. Calming images and fantasies can calm us.
Work with your “inner worrier,” rather than being bullied by it.
Notice the voice in your head that makes you anxious. Let’s call this your inner worrier. Imagine what your worrier looks like. Is it big or small? Does it look like someone you know, or a made-up character? Try this exercise:
- Imagine your worrier as another person (or being) speaking to you. What does it say? How does it speak to you? Write down what it says to you. This might include ‘shoulds,’ worst-case scenarios, or threats. Examples include statements like “You’ll make a fool out of yourself – stay quiet!,” “What if” statements such as ‘What if you get fired/fail/are rejected?”
- Notice how you feel in your body when the worrier says these things to you. Do you feel physically comfortable? Uncomfortable? What sensations do you notice in your body as you take in these statements?
- After identifying how you feel, tell your worrier what you actually need when you feel this way. Do you need the worrier to be loud or quiet? Do you need it to continue scaring you, or to remind you of past successes? Be creative in asking for what you really need.
- Notice how your worrier responds. Does it get stronger or more compassionate?
- Explore how you and your worrier can work together to better meet your needs. Can you come to an agreement on common goals and how to achieve them?
If this exercise intrigues you, but you need someone to guide you, find a qualified emotion focused therapist to help you.
To learn more about emotions, when they are helpful, and how to manage them, check out my series – Focus on Emotions.
5. Seek help
If your challenges persist, seek help from your family doctor if you want to try medication, or from a registered psychologist, social worker, or psychotherapist. Anxiety is treatable! At Transforming Emotions, our team members are well-equipped to help you shift from suffering from anxiety, to coping with anxiety, to transforming and undoing what causes your anxiety in the first place!
Endnotes
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/proper-breathing-brings-better-health
https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/how-to-effectively-prescribe-exercise
