It’s a Saturday night, and you’re out to dinner with friends. The food arrives, and immediately, a voice in your head tells you that you shouldn’t eat that pasta—it’s too many carbs. But it’s your favourite dish, and after a long week, you just want to enjoy yourself.
If this scenario feels familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with navigating the complexities of food and eating thanks to the constant pressure of diet culture and years of inaccurate information about health and food. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
A healthy relationship with food is about letting go of guilt, learning to trust your body, and finding joy in eating again. In this article, we’ll explore practical steps you can take to foster a positive connection with food, free from restrictive rules, guilt shame, and stress.
Understanding What a Healthy Relationship with Food Looks Like
A healthy relationship with food is rooted in balance, flexibility, awareness of hunger and satiety (how full you feel) cues and self-compassion. It means listening to your body’s signals, eating what and how much feels right for you, and giving yourself permission to enjoy all types of food—without judgment.
Here are some key characteristics of a healthy relationship with food:
- Food as Nourishment, Not Punishment (or Reward): You view food as a source of nourishment that fuels your body, not something to restrict or punish yourself with. While food may sometimes be used as a reward, more often it’s just a fuel source.
- No ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’ Labels: You don’t label foods as inherently ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ Instead, you allow yourself to eat everything in moderation, trusting that your body knows what it needs.
- Joyful Eating: Food is a source of pleasure and connection, and you allow yourself to enjoy meals without guilt or shame.
- Listening to Your Body: You pay attention to your hunger and fullness cues, eating when you’re hungry and stopping when you’re satisfied.
For more context on why this approach is important, read our article What Is Diet Culture and How Does It Affect Me? where we discuss how diet culture negatively impacts our relationship with food.
Steps to Create a Healthy Relationship with Food
Building a healthy relationship with food doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a journey that involves patience, self-awareness, and practice. Here are some steps to help you on your way:
1. Challenge Restrictive Food Rules
Diet culture is full of rigid rules about what you should and shouldn’t eat. These rules create a cycle of restriction, deprivation, and guilt, making it difficult to enjoy food in a balanced way.
- Identify Your Food Rules: Write down the food rules you’ve internalized over the years—such as “no carbs after 6 pm” or “sugar is bad.” Acknowledge how these rules have impacted your behaviour and emotions. Educate yourself or speak to a knowledgeable professional to better understand the range of eating behaviours that promote health.
- Reframe Your Thinking: Replace restrictive thoughts with balanced, neutral statements. Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t eat this cake,” try, “I’m allowed to enjoy this cake in moderation.”
- Gradually Break the Rules: Challenge yourself to gradually break these rules—one at a time. If you’ve always avoided bread, make a point of eating bread intentionally, noticing how you feel afterwards, and working to challenge thoughts that lead to fear, guilt, or shame.
For more insight into challenging restrictive beliefs, take a look at our Building a Healthy Relationship with Food: Moving Away from Diet Culture article, where we provide actionable strategies for embracing food freedom.
2. Practice Mindful Eating
Mindful eating involves being present and fully engaging with the experience of eating. This practice helps you reconnect with your body’s hunger and fullness cues, making food more enjoyable and satisfying.
- Slow Down: Take time to savor your meals. Put your fork down between bites, chew thoroughly, and enjoy the flavors and textures of your food.
- Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to your body’s signals—are you still hungry, or are you comfortably full? Tuning into these cues helps you avoid overeating and feel more satisfied.
- Eliminate Distractions: Try to eat without scrolling on your phone or watching TV. Focus on the food in front of you, and notice how it makes you feel.
“When we eat mindfully, we begin to appreciate food for what it is—a source of nourishment and pleasure—not something to fear or control.”
3. Make Peace with All Foods
One of the hallmarks of a healthy relationship with food is allowing yourself to eat anything in moderation. When you remove the ‘forbidden’ label from foods, you’re less likely to binge or overeat them.
- Give Yourself Permission: All foods fit into a balanced diet. Give yourself unconditional permission to eat foods you enjoy—whether it’s a piece of chocolate, a bowl of pasta, or a fresh salad.
- Tune into Your Cravings: Cravings are normal. Instead of ignoring or fighting them, explore what your body is telling you. Do you need something sweet, something crunchy, or something comforting?
To explore more ways to let go of restrictive food labels, read Is Emotional Eating Always Bad?, where we address the complexities of emotional eating and its role in our relationship with food.
4. Seek Support from a Therapist, Dietician, or Trainer
Changing your relationship with food can be challenging, especially if you’ve been influenced by diet culture for years. Seeking professional support can help guide you through this journey.
- Work with a Therapist: A therapist specializing in eating behaviours can help you identify and address the underlying beliefs that contribute to your struggles with food.
- Work with a Dietician or Trainer: Learn to understand the factors that promote gut health and energy availability and help fuel your body for all of your daily energy demands!
- Accountability and Encouragement: Having someone to share your progress with can make all the difference. Work with someone who can help set realistic goals, celebrate wins, and offer encouragement when things feel difficult.
Learn more about the benefits of working with a supervised therapist by checking out our article What Are the Benefits of Working with a Supervised Therapist?
A Journey of Self-Compassion
Creating a healthy relationship with food is about more than just changing what you eat—it’s about changing how you think and feel about food and your body. It’s about cultivating self-compassion, challenging long-held beliefs, and embracing food as a source of nourishment and pleasure.
This journey may have its ups and downs, but each step forward is progress. Remember, you don’t have to do it alone. At Transforming Emotions, our therapists are here to help you develop a balanced and joyful relationship with food—one that puts your well-being at the center.
Ready to make a change? Contact us today to schedule your first consultation.
